Question: In the alphabetic kindergarten, S is sent to “time out”. Why?
Answer: Because S pinch N.
Question: Schroedinger is famous for his cat. Which pet does Heisenberg adore?
Answer: Heisenberg is famous for his spinning chinchilla, a.k.a, spin chin.
Well… it is actually a string theory trivia question, but I dont really know if string theory is math or physics any more.
Q: What do we have if a Earl Grey offends a Lipton?
A: We will have a tea duel a tea.
Q: What discounts does captain Jack Sparrows enjoy when he walks in a bakery shop?
subQ1: For which bakery does he get a discount?
subQ2: How much of a discount does he get?
A: He gets a special pi-rate. So he can have 3.14 percent off for pies.
It’s been four years since I moved to Canada, but the length and depth (and width) of winter still got me. As the old saying goes, for every other season, there is a winter.
Now it is the second winter, at the beginning of which, weaklings like me who are too ready for positive temperature caught bacteria and fell sick and such.
I finally recovered from the recent cold, attacking the salmon on my dinner plate eagerly (finally no more chicken noodle soup, yay), “I just realized that I have been lied to for all these years, I thought I was a northern girl born in the spring, but apparently I was from the south born in the middle winter of the three winters.”
“Well, depends how you define spring, by temperature or by the date.” My husband, nerdy as he is, suggested.
“Yeah, it also depends on how you define south and north, Hong Kong people think everybody from anywhere except Guang Dong province is from the north. And Beijing people think everybody from south of Beijing is from the south. But actually, that definition only works for people from Shanghai, where the government draws a line to determine if people can get heat or not in winter. So the southern Chinese survives cold better because although the temperature doesnot drop below 0 that much, the house is colder than the outside. ”
“I see, I should turn off the heat in the house to train you then..or you can join me on this jump into Lake Michigan on New Year’s day thing” My hubby happily suggested.
I shivered, “Ur, no, see, if I wanted to be trained, I would jump into Lake Michigan every day after August, it is like boil a frog with water, if you start with cold water, the frog will gradually get used to the temperature and get cooked, if you just throw a frog into a pot of boiling water, it will jump out.”
“Not if you put the lid on quick enough. As you are from the frog university*, you must know that.”
*I am from a Chinese university that it is apparently so hard to pronounce that every foreigner that comes to give a talk will start the speech with “I am very honored to be invited to give a talk at the frog university.”
1 Just after shower, with water dripping off her hair.
2 When she is looking at you adoringly.
3 Crossing her arms in front of her chest.
4 Wearing her sweetheart’s shirt.
5 Preparing a table of dinner for her lover
1 Washing dishes after breakfast
2 Washing dishes after lunch
3 Washing dishes after dinner
4 Washing dishes after midnight snack
5 “Honey, leave it there, I will wash it later.”