Q: What do you call a microwavable cat food made of one tenth of a rat?
A: A .10 vector.
Q: Why is a point so powerful in Mathematician’s eyes?
A: Because in the language of polygon, a point is basically a uni-gon, also known as a hybrid between unicorns and dragons, that has mythical powers and is undefeatable.
Q: Why are women always right?
A: From Darwin’s evolution point of view, this makes sense, as the men with genes that do not think women are always right will not find a woman willing to reproduce such genes and thus extinct.
Q: Once upon a time, the islands of Lilliput and Blefuscu were overrun by llamas, sheep, and zebra. Uncountable hordes of these goat-like creatures overran the islands and consumed most of the farmers’ crops. The farmers were distraught, and turned to our friends the quantum field theorists for help. After much experimentation, the quantum field theorists created a recipe for a potion that would solve their quadruped problem by causing the pests to scatter across the surrounding islands in the archipelago. What did they name this recipe?
A: The LSZ reduction formula.
Q: In every civilization there are farmers, and there are people who predict harvests. For example in Canada, Statistics Canada predicted wheat output will drop to 27.5 million metric tons from a record 37.5 million in 2013. On the islands of Lilliput and Blefuscu,what would we call these forecasters?
A: These forecasters are known as quantum field theorists.
This is a true story.
Background information: as people may have guessed now, I am probably working on some sort of high energy theory. To be very specific, I am a string cosmologist.
Q: Why would I get an invitation to give lectures on skin and hair care?
A: Because they think I am a cosmetologist.