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Go to China? Take your Scuba Gear!

January 25, 2012

A few years ago, I took my husband back to China to meet my family and do some touring. As tough as getting a U.S. visa can be, we decided staying in Beijing for a week, since it is hard to get an appointment agree with airline tickets (anyway, that is another long story). And when we came back, a lot of people asked, “So, how is China?”

My husband, first politely answered with political communication skills, “China is great”, and then, raise his voice by a whole half octave,  “If you go to Beijing, you’d better bring your Scuba gear!”

Well, I cant blame him, he did breeze in some smog and fell ill the rest of the trip after a mere week. Think of me, living there for four years. We also could not see the building across the street. The only day that the air condition is satisfactory is when we are on the Great Wall, there is such a huge wind that we think the winter is coming.

“And also nobody speaks English there, not even the forbidden city or the summer palace, and the hotel we stayed is a four star hotel with a huge bill board of its English name,the International Business Hotel, the Chinese name is close to be invisible. ”

“Well”, I jumped in, “I did teach you to say wei wo (which means feed me), so you would not get starved if we happened to get separated.”

“Oh, here is a funny fact! Almost every single girl wore a red coat almost exactly like hers, except for some small details. ”  “But red is such a cheerful and happy color ( “and communist”, my husband mumbled), how can a Chinese not wearing red when the spring festival is coming?” But he was right, we were holding each other’s hand all the time, not just to show off we were in love, but with the imagination of a cute foreign boy sitting in the middle of the road saying “wei wo”, I cant afford losing him. And the streets in China, of course looks like New York City all the time.

“The food is really good, but there is no toilet paper or soap in Chinese restaurants”. I scratched my head, “uh, I forgot, you are supposed to have tissues in your pocket all the time, or else we could go to KFC or McDonald’s for them.”

Well, advice for people braving your way to China: Scuba gear (also cough drop as a backup) and toilet paper in the back pocket, you are good to go. oh, about the language? I dont know, I am still teaching him how to say ni you mei you mei you? (meaning do you have or not have mayo)

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